Have you read the recent news story about AirTran removing a family from a flight because of a toddler’s poor behavior? If not, here’s the story. Please go read it…..I’ll wait.

AirTran Article

You’re back? Ok, great. This is not going to be a blog entry defending AirTran or the parents. They can work out the problem the problem between themselves. This entry is more a reflection on a serious problem in our society today: The kids are taking over!

Why is it that two grown adults cannot place a child in an airplane seat and buckle her in, as required by the FAA? More than likely, this is not the first time the child has tried to exert her independence and won. This public incident on the plane shows what is most likely a recurring problem at home. I imagine buckling her into a car seat also comes with loud protests. Do the parents give in to those protests as well? I hope not. After all, each time they give into this child’s demands, she wins. And that fuels her desire for more control.

Children need to know boundaries. They are not aware of the safety issues at hand in cars, on planes, near streets, or in the many other situations they are faced with every day. We, as adults, need to exert our force in teaching kids that some things are NOT appropriate. No, I don’t mean force as in brute strength. I mean we need to take responsibility for our kids’ safety and we need to shape them into people who will grow up knowing boundaries and limits and a healthy respect for authority.

This news story reminds me of an incident I witnessed at my local grocery store about a year ago. There was a grandma shopping with her young grandson. He was pushing the cart but not doing such a good job. He bumped into another shopper’s cart and into one of those displays in the middle of an aisle. The grandma took the little boy’s hands off the cart, pushed him to the side, and said, “I’m pushing the cart now.”

What happened next made my jaw drop. The boy hit her and yelled obscenities, including the “mother” of all words (if you know what I mean). He told her in no uncertain terms that she was a #&*%@ and that HE was going to push the *@*^%#&-ing cart. I imagine your jaw is dropping now too.

If this were YOUR child, what would your response have been? I know mine. I would have picked up my child (at the age of 4 I was still bigger than my kids), left my grocery cart in the aisle of the store, and marched right out to the car. I would have told my child how disappointed I was in that behavior and how it was NOT acceptable. I would then head home, where my child would have spent some time in his or her room and would have lost privileges such as TV or computer time for the rest of the day.

But, you see, my children have never cussed at me or used the F word, because my husband and I have not allowed it to get to that point. Our kids, much to their dismay, have been gently but consistently reminded that there are certain behaviors we expect–without exception. We expect them to buckle up on car or plane trips. We expect them to speak respectfully to us and others (getting them to speak respectfully to each other is sometimes another matter). We expect them to obey us, especially if there are safety issues at hand. Yes, it may be mortifying for a 12 year-old to hold her mother’s hand while crossing the street, but if the intersection is busy, then I’d rather have a mortified child than one struggling for her life in the ER.

I feel for these parents, but they need to stop and think about the effectiveness of their parenting. They need to get control over their daughter so the next time they buckle her into an airplane seat, she stays. Hey, I didn’t say she couldn’t protest a bit, but she must realize that she needs to stay sitting and buckled into the seat. If they don’t get some control now, it’s only going to get worse. If she doesn’t listen now, will she listen when she’s 10? Will she listen when her parent’s tell her to stop IM-ing her friends for hours and hours on the computer? Will she listen when she’s 12 and insists on wearing a skirt that shows too much leg or a shirt that shows too much belly? Will she listen when she’s 15 and she “borrows” her parents’ car?

She is little now. It is time for her parents to exert their control and shape this little human. It is time for her parents to show what they expect of her and to not accept anything less. Sure, she’s a kid. She’s going to test boundaries. But if the boundaries keep changing in the little girl’s favor, pretty soon the boundaries will be unacceptable for her parents—and for the rest of the people around her. By that time, it could be too late.

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