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I had no idea my husband was a stalker. Luckily, he doesn’t stalk women. Instead, he stalks food items. We now have proof. Everyone in the family witnessed one of his “episodes.”

Yesterday we went to his sister’s clarinet recital. She is earning her Master’s Degree at Wright State University near Dayton and this recital was required for graduation. The recital was beautiful. I hadn’t heard her play in quite some time and her skill is amazing. Since we were in the area of our favorite pizza restaurant of all times, we decided to go out to eat after the concert. And for a 10 and 12 year old who were more than patient through the hour long performance, it seemed like a just reward.

The thing about this pizza shop is that we aren’t quite sure where it is. We know what road it’s on, and we always seem to find it by chance, but it usually involves turning around and backtracking at least once. It’s actually quite comical to be in the car as we try to figure out where it is (or where we thought it was the last time we ate there). Knowing what’s in store for us, it’s always worth the effort to search.

Last night we were driving along on the 6 lane road that runs along the Fairfield Commons Mall. Knowing that LaRosa’s was down the street about a mile, Mike kept the car in the right hand lane. The problem was, the right hand lane kept turning into a right-turn-only lane, so he’d have to merge back into traffic. We were in that very lane when suddenly he says, “oh, crap,” turns on his right directional, and gets into the right-turn-only lane and starts slowing down. Knowing it was still too early to turn right at this time (we’d have ended up in the confusing mall parking lot), I wondered what he was doing.

He slowed some more, allowing a white van to pass him on the left. Then the left directional went on and he merged back into the correct lane, now with a white van in front of us. A white van with a sign on the top of it that said, “LaRosa’s pizza–Call for delivery” We all laughed ourselves silly. We followed the white van directly to the pizza shop’s parking lot. There was no turning around. There was no backtracking. There was no passing Go! There was no collecting $200. There was only eating the finest pizza under the sun with a man who was very proud to have used ALL of his resources to get us to dinner quickly.

Pizza stalker.

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