THE GIRLS AND I ARE FINE!
Posted by Karen on Jan 31 2008
Well, I did it. I experienced a rite of passage yesterday and I survived. It’s sort of like fraternity hazing….if it doesn’t kill you, you’re in the club!
And I’m here to report it wasn’t nearly as bad as I had made it out in my mind to be.
I’ll give you the blow by blow in case you have trepidation about having a mammogram done.
First, I have to say that I have access to the very impressive James Cancer Hospital services. They have an entire center dedicated to breast health. From mammography, to ultrasounds, to biopsy services, it’s all under one roof. The staff there was awesome! They all knew it was my first time and they all treated me with the utmost respect. I was blown away at how caring and informative my actual technician was. She explained every single thing before she did it and made sure I was comfortable with what was going to happen. And, get this, she had warm hands! What’s with that? There was a good bit of touching and pushing and readjusting, so her having warm hands was just beautiful! All other health care workers I’ve ever experienced have had ice cold hands!
Ok, first I was led to the mammography room and the tech explained that I had two choices…I could use a plush terry cloth robe, or I could use one of the blue paper gowns. She suggested that if I was warm, I should use the gown. I don’t care how warm I was, I was using a terry cloth robe. I mean, seriously, what do they give you when you go to the spa? A terry cloth robe! So I thought I’d at least pretend that I was having a little spa trip! In fact, maybe that’s what they should consider doing….combine a spa with the mammography center. Get your hair done, get your nails done, get your eyebrows waxed, get your boobies squished. Wouldn’t that make it sound more fun? Maybe insurance companies would even pay for the spa services that way. Hmmmmmm. Anyway, I digress.
I came out of the dressing room in my plush terry cloth robe and sat down to give a health history to my tech. I felt totally comfortable with her as she explained things to me. I’m sure my experience would have been quite different with a brisk, rude tech.
The first time it got a little uncomfortable was when the tech handed me two stickers about the size of dimes. In the center of each sticker was a small piece of rounded metal (the tech called it a BB). Apparently in order to identify the nipple on the films, these little stickers with their BB centers help. So guess where I had to put the stickers. Yeah, I was feeling like Madonna with this fashion statement!
Then came the squishing part. Well, first was the positioning and repositioning part. The positions that my body was put in were, uh, unnatural. Usually I don’t stick my chest out quite so far and turn my head quite so far, but hey, I did what I had to do to get good pictures the first time so they didn’t have to be redone. The tech took two different shots on each side. Each squeeze lasted about 10 seconds. It was uncomfortable, but no where close to painful. The only thing that hurt a bit was my neck. The muscles in my neck are tight and don’t relax easily, so skewing my head way off to the left or right was more that slightly uncomfortable.
The nice thing was that the tech squished my breast then stepped behind the shield to take the picture, but she could remotely release the squisher so I didn’t have to wait for her to come back around the shield. And after each picture, she turned the monitor towards me so I could see the picture. Now, mind you, I have no idea what a normal mammogram looks like, and I had to remove my glasses for the test, so the images looked like grey and white blobs. At one point she said, “That’s a great picture.” So I replied, “Yeah, my breasts are way more photogenic than I am.” Hey, what did you expect from me?
Anyway, it was easy peasy. I won’t lie and say it was the most pleasant thing I’ve ever done, but it wasn’t anywhere close to the worst. For the benefit of being able to find a problem early, it’s so totally worth it!
My only question is, will these sexy BB stickers stay on until Valentine’s Day?
Just kidding! I took them off when I changed back into my street clothes and that, my dear readers, was the most painful part of the mammogram.
on 31 Jan 2008 at 8:49 am 1 Patricia (Pollywog Creek) said …
Your spa idea is marvelous! Let me know what your clinic and insurance company thinks.
I’m so glad to hear that your experience was much better than you had anticipated. There was a time that these “rites of passage” were much more painful, honest, and I think that it was during those “mean” years that those funny stories about mammograms were written. The same is true for colonoscopies. I know that you are at least a decade away from that next milestone in your life, but I can honestly say that major improvements have been made in that procedure, as well, and I no longer dread scheduling them. These tests save lives - allowing more of us to have longer and healthier lives. Making them less painful increases the chances that more women will get them.
But I want to know why I didn’t get any of those stickers!
on 31 Jan 2008 at 8:58 am 2 ValleyGirl said …
Yeah, ditto on the spa idea! Why hasn’t anyone thought of that yet? I guarantee you a lot less women would put it off if they could quickly get it over with and pop down the hall for a massage and facial!! Darn right! I think that’s a marvelous idea, Karen!
Thanks for giving us your account of this other ‘first rite of passage.’ I know several women who’ve had them, but they’re all super prudish and refuse to say much. Thanks so much for the play-by-play and for the reassurance that it’s really not so bad. (hey, do you think coloured stickers with attachable tassles would help, too?)
on 31 Jan 2008 at 9:57 am 3 Teri said …
See it wasn’t that bad! Never thought to tell you about the BB stickers; of course, you would find those an important part of the procedure
And don’t you love how they show you the x-ray; like you have a CLUE of what that is. But they are always so proud of the job they did getting it properly adjusted and squished!
364 more days ’til your next one! Woo Hoo!!
on 31 Jan 2008 at 10:14 am 4 Mary said …
I like the idea of the spa part. That would make it so much nicer. I would love it if after I could sit in one of these heated tile chairs from the Rainforest Room before getting back into my street clothes. Forgot about those stickers!
on 31 Jan 2008 at 12:04 pm 5 Awesome Mom said …
I get regularly punched in the boobs by errant elbows but the thought of pulling a sticker off such a tender spot made me shudder. How soon will you know the results?
on 31 Jan 2008 at 12:30 pm 6 SmockLady said …
I thought I said not to enjoy it or I wouldn’t be back. Bwahahaha.
I couldn’t resist after the comment I made yesterday. I am glad all went well.
on 31 Jan 2008 at 12:45 pm 7 Mary T said …
Glad to hear your expierence went well … as well as could be expected anyway! I just got back from the doctors today. Got my rh- shot. Not fun when they put it in the meat of the butt!
on 31 Jan 2008 at 1:44 pm 8 Christy said …
Oooh! Your very first set of Pasties…and Dr. Mike didn’t even get to see them!!!!
Is “Squishers” the medical term?
Seriously, I’m glad it went well for you. Did you swipe a robe? Hehe.
on 31 Jan 2008 at 2:57 pm 9 SmockLady said …
Psst. Christy, I didn’t see where she said it was her first set of Pasties. I think the it was just the first time someone else gave her a set of Pasties.
I better watch it or she’ll block my IP.
on 31 Jan 2008 at 6:03 pm 10 Tammy and Parker said …
Good for you! These are soo important!
on 31 Jan 2008 at 6:37 pm 11 Ladybug Crossing said …
LOL!! A spa!
Don’t we wish!!
Anyway… Zeb is our corgi. He peed on my bedroom carpet for no reason - we were all home and available to take him out. He did not come down and ask to go out, he simply peed.
His kingdom has been greatly diminished to include the family room and kitchen only - thus the gates.
xo
LBC
on 01 Feb 2008 at 12:01 pm 12 Deb - Mom of 3 Girls said …
Well I’m very glad to hear that it wasn’t as bad as it’s made out to be! But I’m hoping that our hospital here is as wonderful as yours when I have to go in for my first one…
on 01 Feb 2008 at 1:28 pm 13 SmockLady said …
tag. you’re it. come find out.
on 01 Feb 2008 at 2:56 pm 14 Sue said …
BB’s, warm hands and getting to look at the fuzzy pictures sounds like a deal to me…sure wish the techs I get would talk to me about something besides….oh hush up, it’s not all that bad…would like to tell them I would be more than happy to switch places with them and let me smash them…..glad it went ok
on 01 Feb 2008 at 11:28 pm 15 Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You said …
well, I am sure that when I get around to it, I’ll blog it too, but I’m prettttty sure it won’t be as cool as yours LOL
on 03 Feb 2008 at 12:36 pm 16 Becka said …
I am glad it went ok.
I need to go to the spa. The last time I did…was actually today, last year!! One week before my son was born.
I cold SO use a massage! Think insurace would go for it!?
on 06 Feb 2008 at 2:08 pm 17 Emily at Mommin It Up said …
Oh my gosh, you crack me up. I love what you said about being photogenic!
on 18 May 2008 at 10:46 am 18 julie said …
So these pasties actually perform a scientific purpose as well as preserving modesty?